Bats in Bagassi

     My 2nd night in the beautiful village of Bagassi I was awakened by a sudden spraying of something that burned and stung a little bit on my legs in the middle of the night. I jolted up in my bug hut and grabbed my headlamp to check the ceiling to see if perhaps the rain had started leaking from holes in my tin roof, or if maybe the mud walls of my house had started melting, and yet I did not see anything suspicious. Immediately as I laid back down I heard a fluttering sound above my head. I quickly turned my headlamp back on and lo - and - behold! Two bats were doing the tango around my bedroom, and I can only assume that the stinging spray I had felt was bat piss (I’ve been in Burkina for 3 months now and have gotten peed on by goats - see Bush Taxi story - my neighbors’ baby and now bats. I see a trend I do not wish to continue). I froze and slowly reached over to grab my blanket and cover myself from any more toxic fluid that may befall me. I attempted to ignore the whoosh of wind I occasionally felt from the wings of the furry, flying rats above me until I fell into a restless sleep.

     The next day I told my neighbor, who had kindly come to set up my solar panel, about the monsters in my room and he simply laughed and told me not to worry about the bats. “They don’t hurt humans” he said…no, maybe not — but I would much rather not have acid piss fall from potentially Ebola-infested bats on me again in the middle of the night, so I walked across the street to the mechanic to see what he had to say about my flying friends. “Oh…bon, c’est pas facile…” he muttered as he shook his head and scratched his chin. Finally he sent his boys (Hamza is 20 and Moctar is 17 and both have grown very protective of me in the past few weeks) over to investigate. Of course no bats were present as they checked around the house so we assumed they were flying out during the day and flying back in at night through the gaps from the mud walls to the tin roof so they plugged the holes with any rags they found around the area and called it a day. 

     While they were doing this, I had about 5 little girls in my courtyard waiting for me to paint their nails and so when the boys left, I went back inside to grab some water for the girls and as I looked up, for no particular reason, I stared straight into the beady eyes of a bundle of bats huddled together in a corner of the room, no doubt terrified at the banging the boys had been doing on the roof. I slowly backed out of the kitchen as they held my stare and screamed for one of the girls to go grab the boys as fast as she could. They not only both came armed with brooms, but they brought their two friends with them (also equipped with brooms) and so I had 4 teenage boys charge into the kitchen like they were Jack Boer raiding a terrorists' hiding spot and without stopping to hesitate, they started whacking! the shit out of the bats. As soon as they began, the bats understandably went berserk and started flying everywhere. At this point, all the little girls had also barged in to watch the spectacle and they ran back and forth back from inside back outside whenever the bats swooped in their direction and were screaming their heads off while the boys were chasing and beating the bats all the while releasing war-cries that probably scared the bats more than the brooms themselves. 

   

     Somehow in all of the chaos I ended up with a baby in my arms (I have absolutely no recollection of being handed the baby, I just remember covering its face as a bat screeched in my direction and suddenly realizing what I was doing and I just stared at the child in my arms in utter confusion). The bats were dropping like flies and every time the boys got one, they would carry it outside by its wing like a trophy. When they were finally finished with their massacre, I made them all wash their hands in bleach water (they wouldn’t be getting Ebola on my watch!) and thanked them profusely. I found 2 more bats over the course of the next few days and the boys ran hurriedly back to continue with their game of cat - and - bat. 

I can happily say that all the bats in my house are now gone and I no longer get awakened by poisonous bat piss in the middle of the night. 

Now for the bats in my latrine….